Relationships aren’t easy. Not only do they take work, but they can be hard to interpret as well. When you’re in a bad relationship, you often don’t realize it until after it’s run its course. Hindsight is always perfect, but there are ways you can tell if the person you’re in love with really deserves you, or they’re just taking you for granted.

No one likes to be used or treated as if they don’t matter, especially in the midst of a romantic relationship, but it happens. People get used all the time; they get cheated on, insulted, manipulated, and so much more. If you think you’re in love with someone who may not deserve you, here are four signs you could be right.

1. They Think About Themselves

If you want to be in a relationship with someone, seriously, you need to stop thinking about yourself. This doesn’t mean that you can’t watch out for your own wellbeing, it simply means you aren’t alone anymore.

Any decision you make needs to be the best for you, AND your partner; selfish tendencies need to stop as soon as you know you’re serious. If your partner only thinks about his or herself, it could be time to call it quits.

2. They Cheat and Lie

When your partner cheats, it’s over. I know some people believe in second chances, but there’s no excuse good enough for a partner who cheats. It’s obvious they don’t value the emotional or physical bond the two of you share, because they can apparently get the same thing from somebody else.

Lying is another red flag, and it walks hand-in-hand with cheating. Relationships are built on trust, so if your partner is lying to you, even about the little things, you have some issues that need to be resolved.

3. They Belittle You

Belittling behavior stems from selfishness.

If your partner belittles you or your feelings, it’s because he or she is so self-involved that the things you care about don’t matter. Most of the time, these feelings are kept inside, but they’ll come out in the form of hurtful comments sooner or later. Someone who truly loves and respects you will also respect what you care about, which means they deserve you.

4. They Can’t Be Counted On

Part of being in a relationship means accepting that someone else is counting on you. If you aren’t willing to accept that responsibility, you should be in a relationship. If your partner can be where they say they’re going to be, remember important dates or events, or simply show up when you need them, it’s time to move on to someone who will.

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